Sugar and spice and everything nice!
Oh how relieved I was to learn the child growing in my womb was a girl. Indeed, the real importance was having a healthy child (especially after 2yrs of infertility), but there was a side to me that had been absolutely terrified of having a boy.
What would I, the girliest of all girls, do with a boy?
The thought of becoming a soccer or football mom sent chills down my spine. After all, I'd grown up with older brothers who only cared about dirt bikes, fishing, and hunting, and a dad who never turned the TV on unless it was to watch sports. Every.sport.known.to.man!
It was by the grace of God I fell in love with and married a man whose main passions are his family, all things superhero, and technology.
Honestly though, there was more to my fear of having a son than just testosterone related activities. In fact, I'm a little embarrassed about this, but I know you won't judge, so I'm going to share the truth anyway.
I was really afraid of mothering a son because I didn't know the first thing about their boy parts.
Ridiculous, I know.
I had an irrational fear of not knowing the How To's when it came to the basics of male hygiene, male hormones, male development, and every other thing moms of boys should probably know about.
I thought it would be far easier to mother a daughter, since I already had what felt like a lifetime of personal experience with the female anatomy. I was convinced it wouldn't be a problem to share that knowledge with a daughter. We would certainly have a close mother/daughter bond and would feel comfortable talking with each other about anything and everything.
Are girls really any easier?
The reality is, nothing quite prepares us for the conversations that need to take place with our child, male or female, when it comes to their developing bodies and their growing curiosity. It's so easy to find ourselves stumbling over our words, blushing with a wild shyness, or taking the extreme paranoid parent approach in our message.
I'm sure you've asked yourself one or all of these questions as well:
- Body Odor - When should my child start wearing deodorant to control this sudden onset of massive body odor? How do I tell them about it without hurting their self-esteem?
- Menstruation - How do I explain the female menstrual cycle to my curious daughter standing in a public restroom with me during that time of month? Or the daughter nearing puberty?
- Making Babies - When is the right time to teach my children that babies are the product of a man and woman making love? And answer all the questions that will no doubt follow?
- Modesty - How and when do I advise my children of the importance of covering their developing bodies, even in the safe presence of parents or siblings? It's not really okay anymore to streak through the house nude, dancing, and singing at the top of their lungs after an evening bath.
- Sex Education - My daughter has her first crush. When is the right time to have the don't-kiss-anyone-or-you'll-end-up-pregnant discussion? What? Do you plan to explain it a different way?
A beautiful and amazing friend of mine, is doing a wonderful job raising her three daughters, so I often find myself seeking her advice on things related to my girls and whatever phase we happen to be in. Her latest recommendation was a book I just have to tell you about.
The Care & Keeping of YOU: The Body Book for Girls
When you can't find the words, reading a topic specific book with your child is a great way to properly educate them while opening the door for further parent/child discussion.
This book literally takes girls on a journey from the very top of their head all the way down the body to their toes. Everything they need to know (ages 8 & up) about the female body is mentioned. My only disappointment is that it lacks a large diagram of the internal view of the female body which I feel would be helpful for growing girls to see. Especially as the book explains developing breasts and menstruation.
My daughter and I have been reading The Care and Keeping of YOU together and while some topics are not quite age appropriate for her just yet, she at least has an idea of what to expect in the next few years. This is also a great reference book for her to pick up and read again down the road, whenever questions pop in her mind that she may feel too embarrassed to talk about.
Here are the next two books we have lined up for our shared reading time (all are part of the American Girl series of books):
The Feelings Book: The Care and Keeping of Your Emotions
Friends: Making Them & Keeping Them
Check back for a review on them in the coming weeks.
I know many of my readers also have boys, so I thought I'd share there is a book for them as well.
I'd love for you to share in the comments below, some great parenting resources you know of.
*This post contains affiliate links, but reflects my true and honest opinion of the products mentioned.
Rosann Cunningham
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It's funny but I felt kind of the opposite way. I figured I'd leave the boy talk to dad and I would need to do the girl talk. So, there was a little part of me that was terrified of having a girl! No way out now!
And "don't-kiss-anyone-or-you'll-end-up-pregnant?" How else would you explain it!!!!
How funny, Rachael. I guess I'm such a control freak when it comes to my kids that it never occurred to me that I would have my hubby handle that discussion. Lol! Wow, that would have lifted a huge fear from my shoulders. Just goes to show I don't always know what's best.
Good thing my husband puts up with my nonsense and still loves me anyway! Haha...
That's so funny I thought the same thing "what would I do with a boy?!" But it turns out I got three of them and no little girls (I think granddaughters must be in my future....way ahead future!)
My son recently turned into a "teenager" and for so long I had avoided the "talks" which is unlike my general parenting style. But it seemed so difficult to approach! I found I had these puritan beliefs, that, are also unlike me! I believe in making birth control available and condoms and all that. Yet, when it came to my own child I felt like if we didn't talk about it then he didn't know, he wouldn't think...try... Finally when I could no longer ignore his mustache (yeah, i waited that long) we had the "talks" and you know what? Once we started talking, it was easy!! Before that though, I got a couple books and though they were geared for my son, I felt like it just made it all more comfortable for me to see it in writing. Like, no, I am not the only parent that has a child going through puberty and it made it so much easier! Great recommendations!
Lol! Christine, you crack me up. Yes, let's not get too far ahead of ourselves with discussion of grandkids. Eeeeek!! I appreciate your visit and your great comment!
Stopping by from VB! It's so funny. i just had my first boy - EVER! I have a 12 year old girl and I always thought of just wanting another girl since i had so much experience with dealing with girl parts as well but honestly it isn't as bad as it sounds. Iv'e managed to deal with his little boy parts and his little boy personality. He's just too adorable.
KG, congratulations on your newest addition to the family! So nice to connect with you through voiceBoks. It's one of my favorite online communities. I've also had friends tell me boys tend to become major mama's boys, always liking snuggling and such. That would certainly be a nice bonus!
"Don't kiss anyone or you'll end up pregnant" is how girls end up pregnant. It's better to actually teach your children how babies are made because it helps them make good decisions. Look at other countries that have full sex education from a very young age - they don't have nearly as high of a teen pregnancy rate as we do.
Thank you for your comment, Jessica. "Don't kiss anyone or you'll end up pregnant" was simply a joke on my part. I certainly would never tell my daughters that, although it's tempting! Lol! I appreciate your visit.
I, too, was TERRIFIED of having a boy (let alone TWO of them!). And this is why, I am certain, that God has a sense of humor
Boy oh boy....the stuff I hear/see/do with boys....I would have never thought
(I am the oldest in a family of 3 girls)
Lol! Elizabeth, you are so right. We too, believe God has a sense of humor! I have brothers so I'm fully aware of what you're talking about with the stuff they do or say sometimes. Wow!
I have a boy and I still don't know even how to teach him to pee standing up! It is especially difficult with his father estranged. Those look like some great resources.
Raine, thank you for your visit!
lol-- I can defiantly relate to your concern but not for little boys but my youngest child ( my little princess) I was raised by my grandmother so when it came to the time to talk about body issues-- I had to learn as it happened. I have three older boys, so when it came to my little M-- I feel like I'm always doing research on how to parent her because she's totally different. Thanks for the recommendation on the books --- gotta check them out!
I hope the books turn out to be very helpful for you.
I appreciate your visit and your comment.
Back at ya, Deb!
[...] The pregnancy progressed well and I enjoyed every moment of it. I was especially overjoyed to learn at our 20 week appointment that we were having a girl! [...]
Thanks for the recommendation, Rosann. Even though I'm in process of raising four girls, I've never had a "how-to" book. That might seriously come in handy!
You're very welcome, Shannon! One of the reasons I love hanging out at your blog and chatting with you is that we have the raising daughters thing in common. What a joy...but what a challenge some days!!
It's so good to be blessed with them though, isn't it?