In the darkness of early morning, I struggle to open the overflowing drawer of workout clothes. It's fullness demonstrates my lack of exercise in recent weeks. I may strive to be a supermom, but I'm not that good at keeping up with the laundry.
The truth is, I haven't opened that drawer in far too long. Instead, I've made excuses and let other things become the priority.
And emotionally, I've felt the difference.
Do you ever feel so psychologically overwhelmed that you just want to run away?
That's the spiritual battle I've been fighting lately. One could label it a post-traumatic response to a major life crisis coming to an end. The enemy has been on a mission to steal my joy.
Slipping one foot and then the other into my running shoes, I still fight a great lack of motivation. However, I keep moving because I know it's good for me. It's what I need right now. Running has always been a very therapeutic outlet.
Pulling disheveled strands of hair tightly into a ponytail, I think about how far today's run will take me. One mile. Maybe two… After all, I am feeling pretty tired.
Then something almost indescribable happens as I place my running hat firmly on my head, threading my ponytail through the hole. A spark of energy maybe?
I slip my arm into the band which holds my bright pink iPod loaded with worship music, and reach up to put the ear buds in place. My finger touches Play as I begin to place one foot in front of the other, slowly increasing in speed.
Exhaustion, worry, fear, stress, impatience, anger, frustration, weariness… all begin to surface as the enemy tries to convince me to quit.
My body aches, yet I keep running. My heart is pounding and tired, yet I keep running. My mind is fighting the temptation to stop. Still, I keep running.
And as I continue to run, I suddenly get stronger. More energized. Creative. More focused. Grateful. More aware of God's presence. He's fueling me. He's releasing my fear. He's comforting my worries. He's pointing my mind in the direction of His will.
Today, I didn't run away. Instead, I chose to run all over satan. And I feel great!
Today I'm linking up with Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts.
#71 - The indescribable feeling of the runner's high. Especially when my run was a total worship experience.
#72 - Bonding with Faith while we made Valentines together for her classmates.
#73 - Sisterly love that I never got to experience as the only girl in the family. My daughters are so protective and loving of each other one moment and are at each other's throats the very next.
#74 - Abby's perfect and very natural ringlet curls. I just can't get enough of running my fingers through them.
#75 - God's protection and the way He reminds me of His presence just when I need it most.
#76 - Pioneer Woman's recipe for Knock You Naked Brownies. Mmmmmm…..
#77 - So grateful every time God leads one of His hurting children to my website or my book. I feel so blessed and honored to be able to help others from my own experiences.
#78 - It's February and we don't have a speck of snow on the ground. Just tons of beautiful sunshine!
#79 - Ten glorious years of marriage to my husband. Thank you, God for the gift he is to me.
#80 - Dirt marks on my daughters' faces after rolling down grassy hills at the local park. You know they've had a good time when they're all dirty.
#81 - Racing in the grass at the same park with my daughters and all their friends. Not only was it good exercise for me, but it really tired all the kids out.
#82 - Fried bread…also referred to as elephant ears or scones. A tasty way to use up leftover bread dough!
#83 - Meeting new Christian friends online in the blogging world.
#84 - Reading to my daughters. Especially when they snuggle up on my lap. Although my six year old is getting a little bit too big for this one.
~Until next time, may God bless you with His strength!
Are you or is someone you know going through the emotionally devastating storm of unemployment? If so, please check out my website UnEMPLOYED Faith or you can purchase my book by clicking on the image to the left. Don't have a Kindle? No problem! You can download a FREE Kindle App for your PC or Smart Phone by clicking here.
Rosann Cunningham
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Lovely post. My family is coming out of a dark time too, related to work- and I just cried last week thinking about how heavy everything felt and how much lighter it's all getting. It's amazing what happens when you recognize it for what it is- Satan stealing it away- and realizing what happens when you allow God to recapture it for you.
Rosann what a great post! I tend to feel the pain when a crisis end's as well. While I'm in the crisis I'm too busy helping, and doing, but when the crisis passes all those feelings come up, and it would make a lot of sense that one would want to run away from that. I've never been great at feeling my feelings. I find lots of ways to run in a variety of ways! Thanks for a great post!
Just reading your post made me take a deep breath & relax!
Running is an amazing relief for me too. A time for reflection, prayer, and problem solving, the bonus is how good it is for our bodies! Great post!
I used to run too and oh, it felt so good! I'm glad you felt better after running.
I am not a runner, but sometimes I try to run away from God, rather than into His open arms. We are so thankful for my husband's recent employment, but things are still so hard financially. I find myself saying "will this ever end" all too often. But I refuse to be discouraged! I am putting my hope in Him!
I sent you an email on your contact me page...please let me know you got it. Thanks!
Got it, Mystiqua. I'm just getting my daughter ready for and off to school. I will reply soon after, I promise. ((Hugs))
Oh yes, there are many times when I feel like running away. But uhh, it's not the best choice. Facing your fears and reality is.
Just yesterday I was counseling with a friend who admitted she just wanted to run away from it all. Her words (and yours) touched my heart because I can relate. But God...wants me to stay in and fight. He wants me to run for the prize. When I run, figuratively and literally, I am invigorated by His presence, purpose and passion!
So beautifully written (as usual)! I don't have running shoes, but maybe i can rool all over satan with my wheelchair...lol Happy Tuesday dear friend!
Oh, I needed this! I have to have to get back to running, because I have to post every Monday about it! If you ever want motivation, just decide you will post every week on it;) Ok, this week for sure, and thank you for the inspiration, and for linking this up!
Thanks Courtney! I'm a firm believer in the physical and therapeutic effects of running. And when I do it consistently, I actually crave it. But when I go too long without it, it's very difficult to get my motivation back.
[...] grow closer to God, I'm finding certain activities where I feel a strong sense of His presence. Running is one of those joys. Snuggling with my children is another. Most recently, I've discovered [...]