What Makes A Great Marriage?

Mark and Rosann Official Wedding Photo 543x800 203x300 What Makes A Great Marriage?Today is a day of celebration in our home.  My husband and I are joyfully celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary.  We've been together for 13 years in total.   And well…let's just say they have been the most adventurous, life-changing, and abundantly blessed years of my life.

With my husband, life is always…interesting.

I say this with more love than I can probably effectively describe.   The thing is, I was just another lost soul before I met my husband.   I didn't have much of a direction other than one that led to making enough money to be self-sufficient.   I knew God, but didn't have a relationship with Him.  And my lifestyle was lacking any real value.

When I met my husband, I fell for him quickly and HARD.   It truly was like love at first sight.  I'd say it was more like love at first date.  Something just drew me into him.  On the outside he appeared stuffy and overly conservative, with a sort of older, more gray haired George Clooney sex appeal.

I soon discovered he was a total kid at heart.  He was (still is) also unbelievably intelligent, a great conversationalist, an equally awesome listener, and a man after God's own heart.IMG 0990 746x800 279x300 What Makes A Great Marriage?

Our love the past thirteen years has endured a multitude of tests.  Everything from life threatening illness to parenting to legal scares to a lengthy season of unemployment.  We've had to fight one crisis - or spiritual battle - after another.

It takes having a special bond with your lover to be able to endure those types of life trials and still be madly and passionately in love.

That bond is Christ.  Our Lord has been at the center of our marriage - of our love - since the day we fell in love.  God has been our strength, our redeemer, our protection, our grace, our comfort, and our healer.   In each trial He has shown us blessing after blessing, including shining the light on the amazing gift we are to one another.

It has been ten wild years.

Would I do it all over again?

Without hesitation my answer is a very bold and real

YES!!

I would marry my husband over and over and over again.  I love him more than ever.  Always and Forever!

 

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So what do I think makes a great marriage?

M - Monogamy.  This may sound obvious, but sadly many marriages fail because one person strays from the relationship.  If something is lacking sexually, emotionally, or otherwise in a marriage, filling that need elsewhere is not the answer.  Communicating about it and working together  to correct the issue is the answer.

A - Appreciation.  Both partners need to show through their words and actions an appreciation for the other and all that the other person does, whether that's at home as a stay-at-home parent or at work as the primary provider for the family.  This means appreciating our spouse for who they are too.  Not just for what they do.

R - Respect.  Treating each other with respect is so important.  We don't marry our spouse so we can turn around and treat them like a child or like their opinion or ideas are worthless and unimportant.  Mutual respect will go a long way in creating and maintaining a strong, healthy marriage.

R - Romance.  Romance helps keep the marital flame burning hot.  We should never stop romancing our spouse just because we've birthed children, or our job is stressful, or we're in a financial crisis.  Romance helps remind us why we fell in love with each other in the first place.

A - Accepted.  Marriage isn't about changing one another.  That's God's job.  Not ours.  We are called to love and accept one another as God's wonderfully complex people.  True love doesn't try to change someone.  True love can't get enough of that person and loves them for who they are.

I - Intimacy.  This is absolutely necessary for a man and woman to maintain a loving connection with each other.  Without intimacy (both physical and emotional) a marriage will easily fall apart.  We need to encourage some form of intimacy with our spouse, frequently.

G - God.  With Christ at the center of a marriage, both partners naturally strive to live in a more Christ-like manner with behaviors that are centered around love.   Prayer, communication, trust, honesty, and faith are all active responses to the difficult trials we often face throughout life.   With God, both partners pull together in tough times rather than push apart.

E - Enjoyment.  We need to take pleasure in being married and spending our life with our lover.  We can do this through creating special memories, having moments of laughter, being each other's best friend, reflecting on the awesomeness of how our children are mini-clones of us, experiencing life and growing old together.   We need to find and create JOY in our marriage.

Of course, there are many other words that come to mind that are equally important in having a great marriage.

Words like…

  • Supportive
  • Companionship
  • Compassion
  • Honesty
  • Forgiving
  • Helpful
  • Listening
  • Affectionate
  • Considerate
  • Patient
  • Playful
  • Sexy
  • Thankful
  • Warm-hearted

What do you think makes a great marriage?

~Until next time, may God bless you with His presence at the center of your marriage!

Rosannsig What Makes A Great Marriage?

 

 

Are you and your husband enduring a difficult time with unemployment in your home?  Or perhaps you know someone else who is going through it.  If so, be sure to purchase your copy of UnEMPLOYED Faith and be encouraged.   You aren't alone!

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 What Makes A Great Marriage?
Rosann is wife to the man of her dreams and stay-at-home mom to two delightful little girls. Her heart's greatest passions are loving her family well, long-distance running, writing, and pretty much anything dark chocolate peanut butter. Rosann loves to encourage women whose husbands are in a season of unemployment, at her other website UnEmployedFaith.com. Her writing inspiration comes from a strong desire to glorify God while sharing the heart of her journey through a life of faith. She is also the Author of two books - UnEmployed Faith: Clothing Yourself in Strength and Perseverance Through his Season of Unemployment, and Refuel Your Inner SuperMom: A Practical Guide to Getting Your Groove Back.
 What Makes A Great Marriage?

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24 Comments

  1. Anne @ GreenEggs&Moms

    Congratulations, Rosann! I think what makes a good marriage - and any relationship for that matter - is compassion. If you have that you try to understand, forgive and appreciate the person as best as you can. Cyber hugs to you!

    • Thomasina

      Happy Anniversary! And as for the post! Let the church say AMEN! :) I don't think I could think of anything else to add to such a rich list, but friendship. I know you touched on it a bit with all the attributes that make up a good friend. But it's nice to point out that your hubby should be your best friend too. BUT DEFINITELY NOT YOUR ONLY FRIEND LOL
      ~Again Congrats on a successful Christ filled marriage!
      Hugs,
      TJ

  2. Kathy

    Happy Anniversary!! 10 years is such a milestone!!! I hope you both get to enjoy a wonderful day!! I agree with everything you and Anne says about what makes a great marriage. I would add that for the secret to marriage is a real friendship with my husband, I married someone I really like, and I married someone who makes me laugh! I think all you have said makes the foundation and laughter just adds a flavoring that can really smooth over the rocky times as well as the annoying times, like when your husband's alarm clock goes off for the millionth time at 4:30 yet he does not wake up until 6 or later. Not that I know any husbands like that, but I could just imagine that a man who could make me laugh after that would probably be worth keeping! Lol!! Much love to you and your husband!! xoxo

  3. Becky Jane

    ♫ Happy Anniversary to you!♫ You are such a beautiful bride and woman! I know that as long as a couple keep the Lord at the center of their marriage, all else will be taken care of! CL and I have been married for over 34 years and I'm more in love with him than I ever imagined possible!

  4. Sharon Larson

    Congratulations, friend! While looking at the acronym above for the word "marriage," I started to think about how difficult it is to always succeed with each of those letters. At any given point in a marriage, at least one (if not more) of those above words is missing. What makes a good marriage then is the acceptance that from time to time something will be lacking and that doesn't mean the marriage is failing. It means more work has to be done...period. So many of us feel like the marriage is over if it's not meeting every criteria. Not so. Press onward; years later, it will be amazing!

  5. Michelle

    Happy Anniversary! I agree with all of the things that you have listed to make a good marriage. We'll be celebrating 10 years this year as well! Have a great Thursday!

  6. Sharon

    Happy anniversary! 10 years, whew...atta girl. We'll have our 17th this summer and you're so right, respect, God, lover, appreciate...all of that. Sometimes we forget since we share a toilet with our spouses, but usually, if we aren't selfish, we get back to basics.

    Hills and valleys We're not always in the same place at the same time, but I can keep my promise to never betray his trust.

    I'm so happy for you guys. You're husband sounds AMAZING!
    Sharon

  7. Courtney~MommyLaDyClub

    Congratulations to you two!! I would say compatibility is key in a marriage. You have to see the world the same way.

  8. Taylor

    Congratulations Rosann! I'm so happy for you. May God keep and Bless your marriage always. Happy Anniversary!

  9. Nathelle

    The most important word in marriage is CHRIST! Without Him, there is no ability to sustain the faith, friendship, support, compassion, honesty, and so forth. I've been married for 50 years and can tell you that this is the only way to stay in a blessed, strong, even-though-not-perfect, marriage. I praise God for my husband, Gene, and the fact that he is a true man of God. Happy anniversary to you and your husband, Rosann, and may you have a lifetime of love and blessings.

    • Rosann

      Wow, Nathelle! 50 years is a whole lotta lovin'!! Congratulations to you and your man!

  10. Barbie

    Happy 10 years to a beautiful couple! A Christ centered marriage is the only way to have a marriage!

    • Rosann

      Thanks Barbie! :)

  11. Shannon Milholland

    I totally agree that a great marriage is founded on Christ. As we separately draw closer to His heart, we draw closer to each other. He is the glue that holds us together through all of life's adventures and trials.

    • Rosann

      Amen to that Shannon! :)

  12. Amber Dobecka

    Congratulations on 10 years, Rosann! That's amazing! Hope y'all live it up :)

    • Rosann

      Thanks Amber, I appreciate your visit. Also I haven't forgotten about Faith Village. Just extremely busy the past two days for some reason.

  13. Marie

    great insight....congrads on 10 years!

    • Rosann

      Thanks Marie!

  14. Prototype Mama

    Congratulations! I've been married for 3 years and I can't wait to get to a huge hurdle like 10 years with my hubby! I really feel like one of the main things that makes a great marriage is communication and humor

    • Rosann

      Thanks Prototype Mama! Yes, communication and humor are very important. :-)

  15. Angela

    Congrats on 10yrs! New friend from voiceBoks!

  16. The Pepperrific Life

    A happy anniversary to you and your hubby. I won't be giving any advice here, as I've come from a troubled one :). No regrets, though. I'm optimistic that I will remarry, and this time, it will be for keeps. I will keep your tips in mind.

  17. [...] It's true.  My husband pointed it out to me recently after he made the most beautiful book for me for our 10 year anniversary. [...]

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