**Disclaimer: If you're offended by discussion related to sex, intimacy, physical contact, or affection with a spouse, this is your official warning to click away. I've chosen to write a post of this nature because I believe our spouse is a gift from God and the Lord's desire is for husband and wife to experience intimate pleasure with one another. When we lovingly engage in intimacy with our spouse we are indeed glorifying God. **
I'll confess, I'm not always the perfect wife when it comes to being intimate with my husband. I've been known to fail at making time with him a priority. It's nothing personal towards him, but is definitely more of an issue with me.
I am extremely sensitive to his needs though (men and women are just so different in this regard) and I try to be intentional about avoiding the common let's-get-it-on disruptions.
Perhaps you can also relate with these *excuses*
- I'm too tired.
- I'm too focused on other things - kids, blogging, phone calls, meals, clean-up, social media, laundry, etc...
- I'm not feeling well.
- I'm afraid the kids will walk in on us.
- I'm just not in the mood.
Friends, intimacy is so important in a marriage! Be intentional. If you're not regularly engaging in intimate time with your husband, I encourage you to do so... and here's why!
Why Being Intimate With Your Husband is So Important
...because it's a way of saying 'I Love You!'
Being intimate with your man is a way of revealing the transparency of your heart. It also releases the so-called love hormone, oxytocin, helping the two of you create a deeper bond.
What is your heart saying in those deeply heated moments? Is it saying "Yes, I love you, baby!" or is it really saying "let's get this over with...?"
Allow yourself to relax, and enjoy your time with him. There is really nothing more important in that very moment than the connection you have with your husband. Make sure what he's seeing and feeling is how much you love him.
If that means planning sex in advance so you can engage with a clear mind and a breaking point in your To Do list, than plan away! But when you're there in the moment, be in the moment and love him well.
...because it helps build his self-esteem
We all want to feel desired, attractive, loved, and accepted. Even your husband! Think about how you would feel if your man never showed an interest in making love to you. How would you feel if he never flirted with you? How would you feel if he never wanted to kiss you?
It's so important that you make an honest effort to initiate sex. Not just this once, but regularly. It will build your husband's confidence. And don't be afraid to spice things up a bit behind closed doors. Your husband will feel like he's on top of the world and you'll feel great knowing you totally filled his love bucket.
...because it's a mood booster (for both of you!)
Hello endorphins! Ever wonder why you feel so great after a hard workout? It's because your body is releasing feel-good endorphins. Sex releases those same chemicals, helping eliminate stress, anxiety, and pain while also promoting better sleep.
Is your husband not sleeping at night? Are you both cranky the next day? Lack of sleep almost always equates to a very bad mood. Does he suffer job (or lack of job) stress? Are you prone to anxiety? Think about when you last enjoyed each other intimately. Has it been a while?
If so, it's time to get your boot scootin' boogy on with your man.
...because a strong marriage provides a stable home environment for your children
When you have a strong love bond with your husband, you're naturally providing a sense of stability to your children. Kids are often smarter than we think. They know when there's tension between mom and dad.
Want to eliminate tension, anger, or an argument with your husband? I once heard it said the best way to end an argument with your husband is for both of you to strip down naked in the midst of the fight. (when innocent eyes aren't watching, of course) I know you're laughing right now, but think about it. You're both most vulnerable when you don't have clothes on.
Being intimate and revealing it all to each other builds an unspoken trust (a deep knowing bond) between you. It naturally softens your disposition. How can you possibly be mad at each other under those circumstances?
Also, don't be afraid to give your husband a kiss in front of the kids or hold hands in their presence. It's important for them to witness what a strong, healthy marriage should look like.
...because one day your kids will grow up and leave home
Oh, it's so easy to become only our kid's mom and nothing else in life. Often times it happens before we even realize it. We give up our personal passions. We stop having fun with our husband. We don't take care of our looks anymore. We simply become a mom, and justify that it's the most important role we have.
But wait! What happens when our kids grow up and don't need us anymore? What happens when they move out and it's just you and your husband at the dinner table? Will you be able to carry on a conversation with him? Will you feel a passionate connection to him?
If intimate time is dismissed as not important, if it's not given the priority it should have throughout the years of your marriage, you will wake up one day and feel very little loving bond with your man and he may lack feelings of love toward you as well. You may be the best of friends. But it's not enough without the intimacy.
You both deserve more than just a lifelong friendship. Strive to be lifelong lovers!
...because it's part of God's plan for marriage
Sex is a gift God gives to married people for their mutual enjoyment. He never intended for our marriages to be intimately boring or without pleasure.
Open your Bible and read Song of Songs, Chapter 4. Don't be surprised if you feel like blushing as you read about this deeply intimate exchange.
Express your love through intimate actions with your man. It's okay! Really! There's nothing dirty about it. God wants you to choose to love your husband well. He also wants your husband to love you well in return.
If the love is only one-sided, I encourage you to pray about it and talk to your husband about how you're feeling. If that doesn't resolve things, seek some form of marital counseling so you can both reap the benefits of a mutually loving relationship.
...because it's healthy
Really! It is!
Sex lowers blood pressure, boosts immunity, improves quality of sleep, reduces the risk for heart attack, and burns calories! Don't believe me? See what WebMD has to say about it.
I know my husband is reading this (he won't be able to resist the headline) and with his heart condition and all, I'm going to hear a big I-told-you-so out of him! So I'll just say it now.
Yes, honey, you were right.
What would you add? I'd love for you to share your thoughts!
I'm linking up today with Courtney from Women Living Well for her Be-My-Valentine Marriage Challenge.